Cambodia is...

Last month I was in Cambodia for three weeks working as an Experiential Learning Coordinator on an undergraduate study abroad trip for students from Lang College at The New School.  The students were required to journal extensively while there, and I too tried to be intentional about finding time to fit in my own writing, while essentially working around the clock.  I wrote this piece for our last seminar together, where we were all prompted by Prof Timothy Pachirat to begin and end our writing by completing the sentence, "Cambodia is..."  

Cambodia is moving.

Oftentimes the quickest and best route between two points is not a straight line.  In Cambodia's urban areas, movement on the roads is markedly different from the parallel and perpendicular lines and 90 degree angles characteristic in the US.  There is minimal stopping and waiting, but rather a coordinated dance with personalized choreography wherein each individual, be they on foot, bicycle or moto, or in a car, truck or tuk tuk, pursues their own steady progression to their destination.  It is not as chaotic as it may sound, the pace and speed of local movement is slower than in the US.  To cross the street, the worst idea is to stop and wait for an absence of traffic.  That will not happen.  The best method is to walk at a slow, steady pace on a diagonal, coming into close contact with but never touching the other dancers as you weave in and out.  This dance is beautiful and I admire it often.  I appreciate it even more because my body doesn't know how to move in that way, doesn't know the choreography.  I liken this dance to my own life, my own winding journey of things experienced and understood.  To have an answer means that there is a question, but for me, I just want to understand.  But what can I understand?  Just the tiniest fraction of the people, culture and environment where I find myself.  I am confident, however, in my answerability to provide a few constants that I know to be true.

Like that almost always a smile begets a smile.

Like that what's coming is already on it's way, I only need to figure out how I will play my role.

Like that there is no one I can control or change but myself.

Like that whenever our words are aimed at others, it's not really about them but rather a small opportunity to understand our own shit.

Like that there are recognizable moments where it does nothing to think and ask but means everything to simply do.

Like that everything in life is a gift, and that includes myself, which I am often remiss in remembering.

Like that life really really sucks, but I can't help to love it anyway.

And so Cambodia is...?  Like me, with the acknowledgement that what's happened has happened, and in taking winding and diagonal paths, Cambodia is keeping it moving.